Longing for Something More
by Deidara'sgirl19
Summary: Miyuki and Sawamura just can't understand that what they feel towards each other is mutual.


This is written for Misawa week. The theme I chose is "mutual pining".

This is my first Daiya fic, so any reviews/critiques would be much appreciated~ I apologize ahead of time if there is any OOC.

**This contains some spoilers for the manga. If you haven't read the manga/knows what happens AFTER the translated portions of the manga, then I recommend you not read it if you don't want spoilers.**

I hope you like it!

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Pining: (verb) to yearn deeply; suffer with longing

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The sound of the ball hitting the glove resonated through the bullpen. Practice had ended about an hour ago, but a few people were still practicing past sundown.

"Nice pitch, Sawamura-senpai." Koushuu stated as he threw the ball back to Eijun. "I learned a lot catching for you, even though I'm not an official member of the team yet."

Eijun looked at him with a dumbfounded expression. No one had ever said that they learned something from him, much less someone who was still in middle school and had only come to one of their practice sessions to observe. In fact, Koushuu had asked him if it was alright to catch for him for a bit, to which he agreed...and next thing they knew, they were going at it until after practice ended.

"So you're planning on coming to Seidou this year? You're a pretty good catcher!" He grinned. "Normally, only one person on the current team is able to catch my pitches accurately!"

Koushuu nodded. "I still have a few things to learn, but I'm hoping that when I come to this school, I can catch to you. You're the only one I want to catch for."

Eijun couldn't help but blush at that compliment. He began grinning like an idiot. "First you have to make it to the first string, and even then, you'll probably only be a relief catcher...as long as Miyuki-senpai is there..." He smiled. "B-But, if you prove yourself, then I'm sure becoming first string will be a piece of cake for you!"

Koushuu just stared at Eijun, the same blank expression that Furuya usually had on his face whenever he was exhausted from the heat. "...Is Miyuki Kazuya that important to the team...?"

Eijun crossed his arms, an annoyed expression on his face. "He's the captain of the team, so of course he's important! He's also the best catcher..." Well, tied with Chris-senpai, at least. "...And he's levelheaded and strong!" His expression turned sour. "But don't let his grin and encouraging words fool you! He's also a smug bastard who enjoys teasing and tormenting me, and calls me an idiot at every opportunity. When I first came to this school, he played a prank on me by using me as a decoy so he could get onto the field unnoticed! And then he..." As Eijun kept ranting about Miyuki, Koushuu continued to stare at him. Hearing someone talk so much about how they hated someone was rather interesting...especially considering how, despite the words coming from Eijun's mouth, Koushuu could still see the shine in Eijun's eyes whenever he brought up Miyuki.

"...Gaaaah, he makes me so angry!" Eijun finally ended his rant, to which Koushuu sighed and removed his catching gear. He assumed they were done practicing, since it had gotten rather dark.

"...You must really like Miyuki-san." Koushuu commented. Eijun almost choked on his saliva. "H-Haaaah?! No way would I like him! He's probably the type to go sleeping around with girls...or guys...just because he's bored. That sickens me!"

Koushuu scratched his head. "...I never specified as to what type of like it was, Sawamura-senpai. So does that mean you've thought about dating him?"

Eijun dug himself into a deeper hole than he was already in. After trying to come up with a reasonable excuse, he just sighed in defeat. "So what if I did? There's no way he'd be interested in someone like me. He considers me to be the biggest idiot on the entire team." His expression turned melancholic.

Koushuu remained silent. _'It sounds to me like Miyuki-san likes him more than he thinks...'_

...

As Koushuu and Eijun were cleaning up their equipment, someone walked into the bullpen. "Oi, Sawamura! Didn't the coach tell you not to overwork yourself?!" Miyuki had his arms crossed, a somewhat annoyed expression on his face.

"M-Miyuki!" Sawamura was surprised and almost dropped his ball and glove. "Sorry, I was just...pitching to Okumura and we lost track of time."

Miyuki raised an eyebrow. "...Okumura?" When his name was called, Koushuu went up to Miyuki and bowed. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Okumura Koushuu...I plan on enrolling in Seidou this summer, and I asked Sawamura-senpai if I could catch for him."

That surprised Miyuki a little, but he soon snapped out of it and smirked. "...Really? Out of all the pitchers on the team, you chose Sawamura?" He laughed at that, to which Eijun got angry. "What's that supposed to mean?!"

Miyuki chuckled, and patted Eijun on the shoulder. "Don't get me wrong, Sawamura, I still think you're a talented pitcher." He grinned. "You have something Furuya and Nori don't have...just like how they have something you don't have. Play by your strengths, but most importantly, pitch with your heart." Eijun was surprised into silence, and wasn't really sure what he should say in response to that. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, so loudly and strongly that he thought it would come up his throat. As Miyuki stared thoughtfully at Eijun, Koushuu coughed. "Should I...leave you two alone?"

Miyuki and Eijun both looked at him, although Eijun was more frantic about it than Miyuki was. "N-No, it's fine! Hang on, I'm going to put this equipment back in the shed!" He grabbed the equipment they were using and ran out of the bullpen, leaving Miyuki and Koushuu behind.

"Hah...I'm assuming you're a catcher, then?" After seeing Koushuu nod, Miyuki continued. "If you're good enough to catch Sawamura's pitches, then I'm sure you'll do just fine...although I'm curious as to why you chose Sawamura?"

Koushuu shrugged. "...His pitches...are irregular, not something you would see from an orthodox pitcher. There's something about his playing style that I like. I figure that, by catching his pitches, we could form a battery and be an important asset to the team. He's the only one I want to catch for."

Miyuki's hand clenched around his arm, although he himself was unaware of it. For some reason, he was feeling rather...jealous. While he was well aware that he was the main catcher, and thus had to catch for all three pitchers on the team...deep down, he wanted to be the only one to catch Sawamura's pitches. The way Eijun grinned at him with fire in his eyes from the mound, the way the ball resonated as the pitch went through to land perfectly in his glove...and the joyful expression Eijun always had on his face when he successfully struck someone out. He enjoyed seeing every part of Eijun's personality, and even when Eijun was sad or angry, he did his best to give some words of encouragement. The worst being when he found out that Eijun had developed a case of the yips from the Inashiro game, and he felt so helpless that he wasn't able to help him in his time of need. He never wanted to see Eijun like that again...that feeling of helplessness...that empty, dead look in his eyes...it was too painful to think about.

His expression must have changed, because Koushuu chose that moment to speak up. "...I do understand that you're the main catcher, Miyuki-san. I'm not trying to steal him from you...I'm just saying that if, for some reason, you can't catch for him, I'll be there to take your place. A team is nothing without their catcher, after all."

This kid...he was more mature than Miyuki gave him credit for. He was almost like a toned-down version of Furuya. What was even more surprising, was the fact that a mature kid like him would want to catch for an immature kid like Eijun.

"...Heh. You seem to have gotten everything figured out." Miyuki sighed. Koushuu looked at him, confused, so Miyuki looked at him with a thoughtful expression. "I think you would do Sawamura some good. He needs someone like you to guide him..." He touched the right side of his torso, where his ribcage was, before continuing. "You're right...There's probably a chance I won't be able to catch for him in the future...there's still a year until I graduate, but...it might be even sooner than that, depending on what happens." His mind went back to the injury he sustained not too long ago. Come to think of it, he realized that Eijun still didn't know about his injury. Maybe that was for the best. "So when you come to Seidou this year, if you can prove to me that you're capable of making it to the first string, I'll personally teach you how to catch Sawamura's pitches." He chuckled. "He definitely has a unique form that's hard to get used to on your first try."

Koushuu's eyes widened, and he bowed once again. "...Thank you, Miyuki-san. I promise I won't let either of you down."

"Hah! You already treat me with respect more than Sawamura does, so I like you already! I'm sure we'll get along just fine."

It was at that moment that Eijun returned from putting the equipment back. "Oh, I thought you two would have left...were you guys waiting for me?" As Eijun walked over to them, Miyuki nudged his head a little. "Of course we waited for you, Bakamura. But we need to go now...we're already fifteen minutes late for dinner." They walked off the field, stopping at the base of the stairs to see Koushuu off.

"Sorry it took so long! I hope you don't get in trouble for being late or something." Eijun apologized, to which Koushuu shook his head. "I told my parents I would probably be late, so it's okay. I'm glad I had the opportunity to play with you, Sawamura-senpai." He bowed, and began walking up the stairs. "Hope to see you when it's time for new members to join!" Eijun yelled back.

Miyuki sighed and pulled Eijun by his shirt. "Come on, any more yelling at you'll lose your voice."

...

While walking back to the dorms, they were both silent for the most part, with only the sound of breathing and an occasional cough in between. Miyuki eyed Eijun, making sure to be discreet so Eijun wouldn't notice. Watching Eijun...it put his mind at ease knowing that he was recovering from his condition. He longed to see Eijun's smiling face again...to see him happy.

He could feel his face heat up, and upon instinct he covered his mouth. When had his feelings for Eijun had changed, he wondered? He couldn't even remember...maybe, he had fallen for the southpaw when they first met. Was it love at first sight? Probably not, but it was pretty damn close. He loved every part of Eijun...his smile, his eyes, his hands...his laugh...he was like sunshine that illuminated a dark room.

"...Miyuki? Why're you smiling at me like that?" Eijun spoke up, and Miyuki was brought back to reality.

"...I was just...thinking of something. Sorry, guess I must have spaced out for a moment there." He laughed it off and continued walking. Eijun looked confused, but he could feel his face heat up as well. A part of him hated the fact that he secretly liked it when Miyuki smiled at him like that. It made him feel special. Come to think of it, there were other things Eijun liked about the catcher: his eyes, his hair, the way he was so focused and caught his pitches with ease, his words of encouragement when he wasn't doing too well...he even grew to like Miyuki's horrible personality, despite being the target of many of Miyuki's teasing. Okay, he still hated Miyuki's personality...just not as much as when he first met him.

He ended up letting out a huge sigh, so Miyuki glanced at him once more. "...Something wrong?"

Eijun shrugged. "Nothing...I'm just...thinking of how unattainable certain things are, I suppose." His tone was slightly saddened, which concerned Miyuki but he decided not to say anything. However, after the silence became too much to bear, Miyuki took that opportunity to voice his opinion. "...I don't know what you meant by _unattainable_, but...I do know that you'll never get anything in life if you just sit back and wait. So what if it's unattainable? I would still fight for it, if it's that important to me." He stopped Eijun, and placed his fist over Eijun's heart. "Remember what I told you, Sawamura? Use _this_. Do what what your heart tells you." He grinned, before removing his hand and continuing to walk. Eijun placed his own hand over his heart in the meantime, and realized that his heart was pounding again. _'So...that's how it is, huh?'_ He smiled, and ran to catch up to Miyuki.

'_...I love this man...'_

They both looked at each other and smiled.

'_...But...'_

Neither of them noticed that in that moment, they felt some form of longing and sadness in their hearts.

'_...There's no way that...he would love me...in the same way that I love him.'_

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The sentences in italics at the very end are what both Miyuki and Sawamura are thinking.

I hope you enjoyed reading!


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